One of These Days

Last night I got a call from my friends* over at AMEX. Apparently it's been awhile since I last paid my bill. I simply acknowledged that I was aware of it but that I have no money. I said that the bums in the alley likely have more money than I do. She asked if I was unemployed. I said I was. She asked if I was looking for work. I explained that I've been sending out resumes all over the place and the only responses I've received were to let me know the positions had been filled. I also said that there was some craziness going on with EI leaving me to wonder if I'll be getting it or not. It's very confusing. Meanwhile, I've got rent and all my other bills to pay, maybe even need some groceries, so I decided to make an appointment to speak to someone at Social Assistance. I was told that was my final option. Considering it's nearing the end of the month and there are no miracles in sight, I figured that I may as well. So, Ms. Amex said that they have a program for people who are out of work in which they reduce the interest rate (from 25.99%) to 9.99% for six months and therefore the minimum payments are reduced. As long as I am able to make at least the minimum payments for those six months and don't miss any, I'll be okay. After those six months are up, they put the interest back up but not to the 25.99%. During this six month period, I can't charge anything to the card, of course - which is fine by me. I was so relieved! I tried to ask the last person who called from AMEX if there was any way to reduce the rate but she said no.

So, tomorrow morning I have to go chat with someone about receiving Social Assistance. I sincerely hope my luck sustains and I get someone who will really listen and be understanding. I'm NOT lazy! I have been actively seeking work without much luck. I'd really like to start my own business. I think I could do well at online marketing and promotions. I also wish to continue my freelance writing and hopefully make some more money at it. But bottom line is that I need to pay my bills now. That's where Social Assistance comes in. It's a polite and politically correct term for welfare.

There's a lot of psychological conflict that goes along with hitting bottom - getting to the point of relying on government assistance. I'm not the type of person to sit around collecting welfare cheques. I want this to be as temporary as possible.

Today I got a call from a shop in Banff. I'd love to move to the mountains. It would be so inspiring and an awesome place for me to pursue photography and writing as well as get in good shape. My sister lives in a town not too far from there so if I end up getting a job that doesn't have subsidized housing available, I could ask to rent the bedroom in her basement I guess. I'm not sure what her thoughts would be on that, I still have to talk to her. Again, it would only be temporary. Once I got one job in Banff, I'd be able to find others. I wouldn't mind having two jobs for awhile. Many jobs there are seasonal though there are winter seasonal and summer seasonal positions. So there's always work. I have no problem working extra hard so that I can get back on my feet again. I just don't want to feel stuck. I don't think that would even be possible in the mountains.

I've got to seriously get to work on this apartment though. I'll have to treat it as though I'll be moving out at the end of the month - whether or not that is true. I have to decide what to keep, sell, donate, or chuck.

I also have some health issues that I've been working through. I found a book at a used book sale that is exactly what I needed to find. It addresses the issue, explains how it works and how to counteract it, and offers a holistic approach for reinstating homeostasis. That'll be a relief on so many levels! I also plan to see my doctor after I've finished reading the book to discuss it with him and see what he can do to help. The book is from the '80s so there may have been some medical advances since then in terms of this ailment.

Last night I watched the movie One Week. What an amazing movie! It was very appropriate for what I'm going through in life right now. I mean, I don't have cancer or anything but the yearning to live and experience life before dying.

I'm not going to let the dream die regardless of what others say. I know for certain in my heart that it is what I am to do. I am to have adventures and write about them. That is my purpose for being.


*The word "friend" is seeped in sarcasm in this instance.