2 Weeks

August has been one of the most stressful months of this year so far. The driving cause is school. Basically I took a huge gamble and decided that I'm willing to commit two years of my life to a diploma in Holistic Health. I applied for the program and to live in residence at the school. I was accepted into rez but as far as the online updates inform me am only waitlisted for my program.

I am relying on student loans 100%. As such, if I don't get into the program, I don't get money and obviously can't live in residence. That will leave me penniless and homeless within two weeks from tomorrow. I can't afford another month in this shitty apartment and will certainly be evicted (hence the 14 days).

My bank account is way overdrawn. I've more than maxed out my main credit card. I am doing my best to pay down another credit card that has given me a temporary reduced interest rate. When card #2 is paid off, I'm cutting it up. I was up to 28.5% interest before they gave me a break.

I filled up my car with gas yesterday and there was a sign on the pumps advertising a public garage sale. I've been looking for something like this all summer! So, for $20 (all of which is donated to breast cancer research) I can rent a stall and sell all my stuff. Awesome! This will give me enough money to POSSIBLY break even.

Today I completed my telephone report for Income Support. I'm not confident that I'll get any money since I had to withdraw $1000 from my RRSP in order to pay some long overdue bills and support myself since the amount I'm getting from them barely covers it. I've spent it all plus my regular Income Support payment and am still struggling.

Regardless of circumstance, I need to move out of this shithole apartment. I've been slowly sorting my clothes, collecting my bottles from around the apartment and putting them in the car to take in, throwing shit out, giving stuff away, etc. My apartment doesn't seem any more empty than when I started. Still, I need to step things up a notch. My car is nearly full of empties that I need to take to the bottle depot. I have two garbage bags full of used clothes to donate and one of toys. I have two boxes of books and movies I need to take to the used bookstore in hopes of selling. I still have a lot more clothes to go through and haven't even gone into my cupboards.

I need to keep track of services I need to cancel - like electricity, home phone, get the mail forwarded to my parents' house. I can't live there but can store a limited amount of personal belongings there and can retreive the mail from there since I can't afford a post office box.

I've been stressed to the point of immobility - something I vowed I wouldn't allow but had no control over. The school doesn't seem to take into consideration that my entire future is barely hanging by a thread and that my only redemption is completely up to them. It almost makes me wonder how many other people have considered suicide waiting for an answer. Surely it isn't something they track.