Last night I got a call from my friends* over at AMEX. Apparently it's been awhile since I last paid my bill. I simply acknowledged that I was aware of it but that I have no money. I said that the bums in the alley likely have more money than I do. She asked if I was unemployed. I said I was. She asked if I was looking for work. I explained that I've been sending out resumes all over the place and the only responses I've received were to let me know the positions had been filled. I also said that there was some craziness going on with EI leaving me to wonder if I'll be getting it or not. It's very confusing. Meanwhile, I've got rent and all my other bills to pay, maybe even need some groceries, so I decided to make an appointment to speak to someone at Social Assistance. I was told that was my final option. Considering it's nearing the end of the month and there are no miracles in sight, I figured that I may as well. So, Ms. Amex said that they have a program for people who are out of work in which they reduce the interest rate (from 25.99%) to 9.99% for six months and therefore the minimum payments are reduced. As long as I am able to make at least the minimum payments for those six months and don't miss any, I'll be okay. After those six months are up, they put the interest back up but not to the 25.99%. During this six month period, I can't charge anything to the card, of course - which is fine by me. I was so relieved! I tried to ask the last person who called from AMEX if there was any way to reduce the rate but she said no.
So, tomorrow morning I have to go chat with someone about receiving Social Assistance. I sincerely hope my luck sustains and I get someone who will really listen and be understanding. I'm NOT lazy! I have been actively seeking work without much luck. I'd really like to start my own business. I think I could do well at online marketing and promotions. I also wish to continue my freelance writing and hopefully make some more money at it. But bottom line is that I need to pay my bills now. That's where Social Assistance comes in. It's a polite and politically correct term for welfare.
There's a lot of psychological conflict that goes along with hitting bottom - getting to the point of relying on government assistance. I'm not the type of person to sit around collecting welfare cheques. I want this to be as temporary as possible.
Today I got a call from a shop in Banff. I'd love to move to the mountains. It would be so inspiring and an awesome place for me to pursue photography and writing as well as get in good shape. My sister lives in a town not too far from there so if I end up getting a job that doesn't have subsidized housing available, I could ask to rent the bedroom in her basement I guess. I'm not sure what her thoughts would be on that, I still have to talk to her. Again, it would only be temporary. Once I got one job in Banff, I'd be able to find others. I wouldn't mind having two jobs for awhile. Many jobs there are seasonal though there are winter seasonal and summer seasonal positions. So there's always work. I have no problem working extra hard so that I can get back on my feet again. I just don't want to feel stuck. I don't think that would even be possible in the mountains.
I've got to seriously get to work on this apartment though. I'll have to treat it as though I'll be moving out at the end of the month - whether or not that is true. I have to decide what to keep, sell, donate, or chuck.
I also have some health issues that I've been working through. I found a book at a used book sale that is exactly what I needed to find. It addresses the issue, explains how it works and how to counteract it, and offers a holistic approach for reinstating homeostasis. That'll be a relief on so many levels! I also plan to see my doctor after I've finished reading the book to discuss it with him and see what he can do to help. The book is from the '80s so there may have been some medical advances since then in terms of this ailment.
Last night I watched the movie One Week. What an amazing movie! It was very appropriate for what I'm going through in life right now. I mean, I don't have cancer or anything but the yearning to live and experience life before dying.
I'm not going to let the dream die regardless of what others say. I know for certain in my heart that it is what I am to do. I am to have adventures and write about them. That is my purpose for being.
*The word "friend" is seeped in sarcasm in this instance.
24 June 2009
17 June 2009
Got That Out of My System!
So the last post was a little on the negative side. C'est la vie.
My situation hasn't improved a great deal, just my outlook. This is typical. I did have a meltdown a couple of days ago and I think I managed to cry most of it out over a few beers.
Anyhow, the show must go on as they say. I've been trying to make more proactive moves. Monday I called the number that EI gave me for Social Services. They told me that I need to go to a Service Canada/Alberta location and talk to someone. Okay. I kind of planned to do that anyway but at least I have some direction and know that's the place to ask to be enrolled in Social Services while I'm seeking employment. They likely have some resources for starting a business and such, too. My plan is to go tomorrow en route to an appointment with my doctor.
Today I did part of a mystery shopping job. It felt good to get out and do something a bit different. I learned a lot and technically am getting paid $20 for an hour's work. Not t0o shabby. Part two will be done in the morning. Busy day tomorrow!
Good to know I can bounce back reasonably quickly. It always feels like some kind of living hell in the midst of it all. Time slows down and everything seems impossible.
Some main contributors to the renewed optimism have been books. I'm currently reading four non-fiction books. One is more of a graze at best, but that's sort of the purpose of it. It's called "10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget." Look it up in my Amazon sidebar. It's got a lot of useful tips and handy references. I read it through with a notebook ready to jot down useful tidbits. I also got the newest edition of the Canadian Press Stylebook (since mine is over a decade old and a LOT has happened since then). I'm also looking forward to starting on a book about selling freelance articles to magazines. That's how I hope to make my living.
Last week, I went to the doctor and the hospital foundation was having a huge used book sale in the lobby. I was running late, so I checked it out after my appointment. It was meant to happen that way because they were trying to wrap it up. There were lots of books left and they didn't really want to have to pack them all up so they said, "fill a bag for $1." They were handing out plastic shopping bags but I opted to use my reusable one. I filled it with at least ten books. I got some great ones both fiction and non. I got a Robertson Davies novel, a couple of Stephen King ones I haven't read yet. The biggest score was a medical reference book. It's from the 50's and had newspaper clippings that the previous owner had tucked inside the pages. I love that sort of thing!
On Friday, I decided I needed to get out of my place and take a walk. So I grabbed my camera and wandered around downtown seeking arty things or angles or whatever to take pictures of. It turned out great! I managed to use up the battery completely just as I was arriving back home. I love photography. I like the contrast between writing and photography. Writing is painting pictures with words and photography is telling a story with pictures. In both cases, I seem to have a knack for seeing things in a different way than most which makes for an interesting end result.
Things may not be the greatest right now but I'm still here so there must be something I can do. I've been applying online to every job that seems remotely interesting but haven't heard back from any.
Oh, on my walking and photo taking adventure, I stopped and chatted with an odd, slim man walking a fat dog. I must be approachable because this happens a lot. What I mean is that people come up to me and just start chatting. I don't mind at all. In fact I find it rather fascinating a lot of the time. I also find it amusing that I am rarely asked for money - it must look like I don't have much. But I think the main thing is that I treat people as people regardless of their appearance or circumstance. Everyone has a story. I actually care enough to stop and listen. Sometimes I even wonder what the universe is trying to tell me. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with writing. I've been recently considering hanging out with some of the homeless folks in my area just to see what got them there, how they get through the day, that sort of thing.
My latest internet browsing addiction is "life hackers." Fascinating stuff. I'm talking the likes of Tim Ferriss. If you haven't read "The Four-Hour Work Week" I strongly suggest you do. It's a remarkable book that will allow you to flip your perspective and see things differently. He's working on an updated version. Cool guy. There are many others as well. Too many to list but you can find me on Stumble Upon (kerrilw) and find the links there.
The whole plan of living in an RV is based on the concept of being "location free." I can write, take photos, blog, take video etc. from anywhere in the world with my laptop and an internet connection. I also want to incorporate environmental responsibility by living off grid using solar power and solar heated water. Instead of toilet chemicals I've been seeking other options such as enviro-lets or even cheaper alternatives.
I guess there really is a lot of life left in this gal. I just get really frustrated on occasion when things don't seem to be going as planned or as smoothly as I'd like. There is so much I want to accomplish and one of these days I'll figure out how.
My situation hasn't improved a great deal, just my outlook. This is typical. I did have a meltdown a couple of days ago and I think I managed to cry most of it out over a few beers.
Anyhow, the show must go on as they say. I've been trying to make more proactive moves. Monday I called the number that EI gave me for Social Services. They told me that I need to go to a Service Canada/Alberta location and talk to someone. Okay. I kind of planned to do that anyway but at least I have some direction and know that's the place to ask to be enrolled in Social Services while I'm seeking employment. They likely have some resources for starting a business and such, too. My plan is to go tomorrow en route to an appointment with my doctor.
Today I did part of a mystery shopping job. It felt good to get out and do something a bit different. I learned a lot and technically am getting paid $20 for an hour's work. Not t0o shabby. Part two will be done in the morning. Busy day tomorrow!
Good to know I can bounce back reasonably quickly. It always feels like some kind of living hell in the midst of it all. Time slows down and everything seems impossible.
Some main contributors to the renewed optimism have been books. I'm currently reading four non-fiction books. One is more of a graze at best, but that's sort of the purpose of it. It's called "10,001 Ways to Live Large on a Small Budget." Look it up in my Amazon sidebar. It's got a lot of useful tips and handy references. I read it through with a notebook ready to jot down useful tidbits. I also got the newest edition of the Canadian Press Stylebook (since mine is over a decade old and a LOT has happened since then). I'm also looking forward to starting on a book about selling freelance articles to magazines. That's how I hope to make my living.
Last week, I went to the doctor and the hospital foundation was having a huge used book sale in the lobby. I was running late, so I checked it out after my appointment. It was meant to happen that way because they were trying to wrap it up. There were lots of books left and they didn't really want to have to pack them all up so they said, "fill a bag for $1." They were handing out plastic shopping bags but I opted to use my reusable one. I filled it with at least ten books. I got some great ones both fiction and non. I got a Robertson Davies novel, a couple of Stephen King ones I haven't read yet. The biggest score was a medical reference book. It's from the 50's and had newspaper clippings that the previous owner had tucked inside the pages. I love that sort of thing!
On Friday, I decided I needed to get out of my place and take a walk. So I grabbed my camera and wandered around downtown seeking arty things or angles or whatever to take pictures of. It turned out great! I managed to use up the battery completely just as I was arriving back home. I love photography. I like the contrast between writing and photography. Writing is painting pictures with words and photography is telling a story with pictures. In both cases, I seem to have a knack for seeing things in a different way than most which makes for an interesting end result.
Things may not be the greatest right now but I'm still here so there must be something I can do. I've been applying online to every job that seems remotely interesting but haven't heard back from any.
Oh, on my walking and photo taking adventure, I stopped and chatted with an odd, slim man walking a fat dog. I must be approachable because this happens a lot. What I mean is that people come up to me and just start chatting. I don't mind at all. In fact I find it rather fascinating a lot of the time. I also find it amusing that I am rarely asked for money - it must look like I don't have much. But I think the main thing is that I treat people as people regardless of their appearance or circumstance. Everyone has a story. I actually care enough to stop and listen. Sometimes I even wonder what the universe is trying to tell me. I'm pretty sure it has something to do with writing. I've been recently considering hanging out with some of the homeless folks in my area just to see what got them there, how they get through the day, that sort of thing.
My latest internet browsing addiction is "life hackers." Fascinating stuff. I'm talking the likes of Tim Ferriss. If you haven't read "The Four-Hour Work Week" I strongly suggest you do. It's a remarkable book that will allow you to flip your perspective and see things differently. He's working on an updated version. Cool guy. There are many others as well. Too many to list but you can find me on Stumble Upon (kerrilw) and find the links there.
The whole plan of living in an RV is based on the concept of being "location free." I can write, take photos, blog, take video etc. from anywhere in the world with my laptop and an internet connection. I also want to incorporate environmental responsibility by living off grid using solar power and solar heated water. Instead of toilet chemicals I've been seeking other options such as enviro-lets or even cheaper alternatives.
I guess there really is a lot of life left in this gal. I just get really frustrated on occasion when things don't seem to be going as planned or as smoothly as I'd like. There is so much I want to accomplish and one of these days I'll figure out how.
10 June 2009
Fuck.
I found out why I haven't been getting any E.I. cheques from the government - apparently I was not approved. Dicks. So, I'm royally fucked.
The owner of the building I live in even left a message saying that I could possibly make a split payment on the rent this month since the cheque bounced and I've lived here for 5.5 years and put up with a lot of shit. I may take her up on it.
I have an interview tomorrow for a temp job. The job itself is for 10 days in July. The pay is decent.
I'm going to really have to get my ass in gear and write like there's no tomorrow. There very well may not be. Hey, Armageddon? Now would be a nice time to show up.
I'm doing my best not to get down. I do expect it to catch up to me but would like to delay the inevitable crash as long as possible. I've been selling possessions one by one to the guy I'm currently seeing. He needed a new monitor so I sold him mine. He needs a laptop so I may sell him my Windows laptop. I need to clean it up and it needs a new battery, though. He may even buy my PC if it's in better shape than his. He said he'll buy my 5.1 computer speakers, too.
I'm considering auctioning off all my stuff online but as previously mentioned will not be using eBay ever again. I was thinking of either listing stuff here or possibly in a new blog. I'd put up a few items per day and start the bidding at like $1 or something. But then again, I don't know if anyone would even read my blog. No one replied about the blue paperclip thing.
Okay, not getting down. Not getting down. Not going to get upset. I'm still alive and have my health which apparently means something to some people.
I was all excited about only spending $30 on groceries yesterday. Of course, at the time I had no idea they were meant to last the rest of my life.
The owner of the building I live in even left a message saying that I could possibly make a split payment on the rent this month since the cheque bounced and I've lived here for 5.5 years and put up with a lot of shit. I may take her up on it.
I have an interview tomorrow for a temp job. The job itself is for 10 days in July. The pay is decent.
I'm going to really have to get my ass in gear and write like there's no tomorrow. There very well may not be. Hey, Armageddon? Now would be a nice time to show up.
I'm doing my best not to get down. I do expect it to catch up to me but would like to delay the inevitable crash as long as possible. I've been selling possessions one by one to the guy I'm currently seeing. He needed a new monitor so I sold him mine. He needs a laptop so I may sell him my Windows laptop. I need to clean it up and it needs a new battery, though. He may even buy my PC if it's in better shape than his. He said he'll buy my 5.1 computer speakers, too.
I'm considering auctioning off all my stuff online but as previously mentioned will not be using eBay ever again. I was thinking of either listing stuff here or possibly in a new blog. I'd put up a few items per day and start the bidding at like $1 or something. But then again, I don't know if anyone would even read my blog. No one replied about the blue paperclip thing.
Okay, not getting down. Not getting down. Not going to get upset. I'm still alive and have my health which apparently means something to some people.
I was all excited about only spending $30 on groceries yesterday. Of course, at the time I had no idea they were meant to last the rest of my life.
06 June 2009
So Many Roadblocks, So Little Time!
I'm not impressed. First, I didn't get my EI payment from the government. I did my part, now give me my money already! As a result, my tenant and car insurance payment was NSF. So, the bank charged me a $40 fee. Thanks. Then, I found out that the apartment managers quit and vacated and somehow the rent cheque I slid under their door last week got lost in the shuffle. I had to put a stop payment on it. The bank charged me $10. I checked my account today and apparently the new cheque I wrote is also NSF because the government still hasn't deposited my payment. Again, thanks a lot. So not only am I completely fucking broke, I am now being hit by a shitload of stupid banking fees and my account is overdrawn beyond my limit. Besides, my landlord is going to want a $25 NSF fee on top of it all. I'm going to dispute it though since I had to pay for them losing my other damn cheque.
I finally managed to close my eBay account. They helped themselves to what I owed them by charging it to my credit card via PayPal - the one that charges 25.99% interest. Thanks a lot. Today I got an email from a survey company that pays me via PayPal saying that they were unable to deposit my money into my PayPal account. I'm thinking this is no coincidence that it's happening right after I told eBay how much I hated them. I was also expecting a payment for blog postings that was due at the end of May via PayPal. That could have saved me from at least one NSF charge.
I hate this shithole apartment! Now I'm likely going to be evicted. Yippie! I'm really not impressed.
My boyfriend came over straight from work. He works out of town for a week and is home for a week. He offered to help me clean my apartment! He was completely serious. I nearly cried. You have no idea what a disaster state it's in. He estimates it would take about 3 days of hard work to get the job done.
Yesterday he took me to the zoo. I'd been pestering him to do so for some time now. I forgot to bring my camera, though! We still had an awesome time. We spent hours there! I told him he has to take me there again because it was so much fun and because I forgot to bring a camera. Afterward, we went to a picnic area nearby. We collected twigs and such and roasted marshmallows. I'd also been bugging him to do that for awhile. It was also a great deal of fun. The area was all wooded with fire stoves and picnic tables in the clearings. Lots of paved and worn paths. It was very much like camping only without the tents. It was good to relax after walking around the zoo all day. Then he took me back to his place and we watched some movies and went to bed. It was the best day I've had in a very long time and I told him so.
One of the movies he'd rented was an indie film called Wendy and Lucy. It was about a girl about my age who lived in her car with her dog. It was very appropriate. The ending was sudden, though and left a lot of unanswered questions. Then we watched Paul Blart Mall Cop after so we could laugh. It was kind of stupid but also funny. It did the trick of cheering me up after crying at the end of the previous film.
I slept pretty much all day. It was overcast and rainy and I was exhausted from the previous day and night.
Since I accomplished very little today, I think I'll spend tomorrow cleaning. I don't have cable (or even an antenna) to distract me. As long as I stay off the computer, I should be okay. I need to do my dishes. Also, I need to go through everything I own and decide what to keep, sell, donate, and dispose of. I'm likely not going to do much of that tomorrow but if I can get through the dishes I'd be pretty satisfied. I will also unplug things I don't use - such as the TV, my old PC, small appliances I don't use every day. I'm seriously considering dropping my land line as well. Most of the calls I get are telemarketers. The important people in my life know my cell number and everyone else knows how to contact me online.
I'm going to have to research different ways of selling things I don't need/use anymore. I may as well sell my TV. I can watch DVDs on my computer. My VHS player doesn't even work anymore. My PS2 is at my parents' house. I also need to unplug my computer monitor because the boyfriend said he'll buy it off me. It's better than the TV - it's a 22" LCD monitor that I got an awesome deal on during boxing day a few years ago when I had a full-time job. Maybe I'll bring my VHS collection to my parents' house. I could store it and/or watch it there. It may even give my parents something to watch if they're bored.
I'm not too sure what I'm going to do in the short term for money. I think I'm going to go down to the government offices on Monday and talk to them about my options. I am thinking of possibly taking an online certificate class in entrepreneurship and small business. All the classes are geared toward my personal goals. I can likely get a grant to cover it if they agree that it's what I need to do in order to find full-time work. Aside from that, I may have to check out the temp agencies that advertise jobs that pay cash daily. I also have some bottles & cans to take in.
As expected, the philanthropy plea was unsuccessful as well. I guess things are tough for many people these days. I am going to grab the tent when I go to my parents' place on the weekend, though. I know they'll never use it. It isn't especially waterproof but if I could get some tarps it would be okay.
I also finally read the blog about the red paperclip guy. I have a bunch of blue paperclips. :) I was thinking I could try to trade up like he did. I don't have a lot of faith in my ability to successfully do so though. Heck, I don't even know if people read this blog. If so, write a comment and tell me what you think. Can I trade my way from a blue paperclip to an RV? Ya never know!
I finally managed to close my eBay account. They helped themselves to what I owed them by charging it to my credit card via PayPal - the one that charges 25.99% interest. Thanks a lot. Today I got an email from a survey company that pays me via PayPal saying that they were unable to deposit my money into my PayPal account. I'm thinking this is no coincidence that it's happening right after I told eBay how much I hated them. I was also expecting a payment for blog postings that was due at the end of May via PayPal. That could have saved me from at least one NSF charge.
I hate this shithole apartment! Now I'm likely going to be evicted. Yippie! I'm really not impressed.
My boyfriend came over straight from work. He works out of town for a week and is home for a week. He offered to help me clean my apartment! He was completely serious. I nearly cried. You have no idea what a disaster state it's in. He estimates it would take about 3 days of hard work to get the job done.
Yesterday he took me to the zoo. I'd been pestering him to do so for some time now. I forgot to bring my camera, though! We still had an awesome time. We spent hours there! I told him he has to take me there again because it was so much fun and because I forgot to bring a camera. Afterward, we went to a picnic area nearby. We collected twigs and such and roasted marshmallows. I'd also been bugging him to do that for awhile. It was also a great deal of fun. The area was all wooded with fire stoves and picnic tables in the clearings. Lots of paved and worn paths. It was very much like camping only without the tents. It was good to relax after walking around the zoo all day. Then he took me back to his place and we watched some movies and went to bed. It was the best day I've had in a very long time and I told him so.
One of the movies he'd rented was an indie film called Wendy and Lucy. It was about a girl about my age who lived in her car with her dog. It was very appropriate. The ending was sudden, though and left a lot of unanswered questions. Then we watched Paul Blart Mall Cop after so we could laugh. It was kind of stupid but also funny. It did the trick of cheering me up after crying at the end of the previous film.
I slept pretty much all day. It was overcast and rainy and I was exhausted from the previous day and night.
Since I accomplished very little today, I think I'll spend tomorrow cleaning. I don't have cable (or even an antenna) to distract me. As long as I stay off the computer, I should be okay. I need to do my dishes. Also, I need to go through everything I own and decide what to keep, sell, donate, and dispose of. I'm likely not going to do much of that tomorrow but if I can get through the dishes I'd be pretty satisfied. I will also unplug things I don't use - such as the TV, my old PC, small appliances I don't use every day. I'm seriously considering dropping my land line as well. Most of the calls I get are telemarketers. The important people in my life know my cell number and everyone else knows how to contact me online.
I'm going to have to research different ways of selling things I don't need/use anymore. I may as well sell my TV. I can watch DVDs on my computer. My VHS player doesn't even work anymore. My PS2 is at my parents' house. I also need to unplug my computer monitor because the boyfriend said he'll buy it off me. It's better than the TV - it's a 22" LCD monitor that I got an awesome deal on during boxing day a few years ago when I had a full-time job. Maybe I'll bring my VHS collection to my parents' house. I could store it and/or watch it there. It may even give my parents something to watch if they're bored.
I'm not too sure what I'm going to do in the short term for money. I think I'm going to go down to the government offices on Monday and talk to them about my options. I am thinking of possibly taking an online certificate class in entrepreneurship and small business. All the classes are geared toward my personal goals. I can likely get a grant to cover it if they agree that it's what I need to do in order to find full-time work. Aside from that, I may have to check out the temp agencies that advertise jobs that pay cash daily. I also have some bottles & cans to take in.
As expected, the philanthropy plea was unsuccessful as well. I guess things are tough for many people these days. I am going to grab the tent when I go to my parents' place on the weekend, though. I know they'll never use it. It isn't especially waterproof but if I could get some tarps it would be okay.
I also finally read the blog about the red paperclip guy. I have a bunch of blue paperclips. :) I was thinking I could try to trade up like he did. I don't have a lot of faith in my ability to successfully do so though. Heck, I don't even know if people read this blog. If so, write a comment and tell me what you think. Can I trade my way from a blue paperclip to an RV? Ya never know!
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